Never fear, fellow faithful readers of this blog. The church is true, I'm not demanding women be given the priesthood or be allowed to take multiple husbands or that single sisters be entitled to as many pints of Ben & Jerry's Everything But The... she can eat every Sunday in lieu of temple marriage, (but you have admit that's a pretty good idea!) this is my wish list of what I, as a single, middle aged sister of the Mormon church would love to hear next weekend during our semiannual Mass Gathering...
New Revelation Proclaiming: During His Mortal Life, Jesus Christ was Married to a Woman
That should put an end to all the current debate over gay marriage, at least in Utah.
Singles Wards Officially Disbanded
No more quarantined, marginalized lepers with Ebola viewed as problems to be solved. Family ward Relief Society and Priesthood quorums will be given the responsibility of organizing activities for the growing number of young single adult return missionaries in their respective wards to date, court and marry in the temple. With so many Millennials currently living in Mom and Dad's basement, all married couples in the ward will become proactive in matchmaking the youth, thus providing a solution to "the problem" because online dating just won't cut it. If it takes a village, Maybe arranged marriages aren't such a bad idea...
Updated "To the Single Adults of the Church"
If everyone is so quick to stereotype singles as "drifting adolescents" then tell us what we can do to help fight Satan in his war against the creation of families. If we truly must wait until the next life to have eternal families of our own, please, President Monson, give us our marching orders for THIS LIFE! We are like those in Alma 32. Replace "poor" with "single" humbled by our afflictions, cast out by our married brethren, esteemed as filthy and as dross, ashamed to worship God in the temple or at church, just because we failed to catch a husband (wife) and have no children of our own to raise up in righteousness because of our exceeding singleness and behold WHAT SHALL WE DO?
Polygamy Reinstated
On second thought, that might be asking too much!
Better wait for the millennium since there just aren't enough worthy priesthood holders who can barely support ONE wife, let alone two or three especially if all desire to be stay-at-home-moms. Such wishful thinking would require a return to patriarchy not to mention a Millennial economy!
Well, here's hoping.
What I predict is: many uplifting messages about the gospel, being good examples to the world, how to be better member missionaries and more urgency to do family history work along with all the usual talks focused on strengthening marriage, family and home that so many singles like me struggle to integrate.
I urge everyone to watch and/or follow conference online if, like me, they have to work use the amazing internet recourses available to stay up to date on what was said. Tune in next month for discussion on whatever comes to pass.
