So, what's a good response when someone lobs this condescending bomb into the conversation?
"You'll understand when you're married."
"You'll understand more when you're not."
"Stop infantalizing me you condescending b----!"
"My marital status does not, in any way, define who I am as a person."
"You married folk think you're so much wiser than everyone else on the planet."
After resisting the urge to punch this person in the face, I simply turned and walked away; bereft of any Clever Comebacks.
"Well the jerk store called and they're running out of you."
Too many people in this world think that marriage is something that just happens to you. That thousands of frustrated single people can simply wake up on the morning of their choosing and *TWANG* "Look, Ma, I'm married!"
It isn't that simple.
Way too many people imply this same phenomenon to divorce. We have turned into a society that not only values marriage, but has become obsessed with re-creating it for ourselves over and over until we get it right.
Apparently, the only good marriage one can have these days, is the marriage built on the solid rock of divorce.
I disagree.
Instead of letting my anger and bitterness stew, I had to focus on the positive things in my single life before I began to feel better:
Just because I'm single doesn't exclude me from being a contributing member of society. Until my own day of happiness arrives, I can use my gifts and talents to bring happiness to others.
I have two nephews, a sister, a brother and plenty of girlfriends who value me as a complete person and with whom I enjoy spending time with.
Every Sunday, I help teach three sunbeams and, guess what? They don't give a rat's a-- whether or not I'm married! As Sheri Dew said, "Are we not all mothers?"
Maybe there are some things I won't understand until my wedding night. Maybe stretch marks do bring greater wisdom to a woman. Maybe I do have to wait until I'm married, divorced and then happily re-married again before certain members of society will listen and accept me into their "adults-only" club.
Until then, I'm just getting more awesome.
I really enjoyed reading your post here. I wish we could somehow get over the standard questions and automatic responses we give each other. If course if and when you do get married, they'll ask when you plan on having kids and you'll be boxed out of those conversations too. Somehow we need to end the cycle of stupid things we say to people to fill the void. Thanks again for writing this.
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