In honor of Independence Day and Pioneer Day, I'm taking a break from writing my other blog (as inspired by this oldmaidmormon post) to say a few words in behalf of Women Who Married Later in Life or Never Married at All.
I also want to comment on the Ordain Women issue.
Everyone is praising Kate Kelly for being an independent woman, a married Mormon Feminist, who desires complete and total equality with her husband in the eyes of the Mormon church. She was excommunicated for trying to push her views on the all male leaders of the church and organizing quiet resistance and protest movements involving hundreds of other similar mined women.
My question to her and all Feminists is, "How does being equal with men help single, marriage-minded women?"
Answer: "It doesn't. You don't need a man to have it all."
Then why did you marry one, Kate Kelly?
Once again, single women in the church remain invisible. Who cares if we also desire all the blessings of the priesthood? Without a husband or children to identify ourselves with as the "misunderstood wives and mothers" does that mean we don't matter? That only MARRIED women are allowed to hold the priesthood? If that is so, it means these women have already decided for us, that holding the priesthood, like marriage, is obsolete. These married women whine over not being allowed in "The Boys Club" without stopping for a minute to think what it's like for those who aren't even in "The Club" of which marriage is the first requirement for membership. Where are the single women demanding priesthood ordination? Sheri Dew, where are you?
Kate Kelly's problem wasn't her questioning of church doctrine, and writing her own six discussions (which, as a return sister missionary, had me raising my eyebrows in alarm). She (and Sheri Dew's latest book) failed to ask the right kinds of questions in order to initiate the discussions that reveal just how deep the roots of this problem lie: not enough worthy priesthood holders to go around, failure of the church to teach and prepare men for marriage and family responsibility, placing these responsibilities on the women as both doctrinal and social issues creating a catch-22 as temple marriage is largely out of women's hands when the men choose other options over marriage, including divorce. This leaves a great many women on this earth with no worthy priesthood holder in their home, one they most likely bought and are currently paying the mortgage on themselves.
My argument isn't that women should be independent, completely self-supporting, allowed the same authority as men to participate in decision making pastoral duties. My argument is that WE SHOULD'NT HAVE TO!
Men were put on this earth to care for women. So man up men and do your duty!
I particularly love this quote:
“Be careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s ribs. Not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal, under his arm to be protected, and next to his heart to be loved.”
― Matthew Henry
I'm looking forward to asking whatever angel was put in charge of keeping track of such things. I expect a full accounting when I die as I've lost count of the number of tears I've shed in this life over being rejected and put down by so many men (women too). I look forward to the next life when I can be placed next to a man's heart and experience the joy of being cherished because it just ain't happening for women in this life.
And now, here's Michelle's Top Ten List of Women who Married Later in Life or Never Married
These women are great examples for singletons and old maids like me for they did the best they could in this life despite never having the opportunity to marry. Let the men have the priesthood, all I want is to fill the measure of my creation. I frequently wonder what the hell I'm supposed to be doing with my life if God's will for me is to never experience (in this life) a woman's ultimate sacrifice of service, using my long list of gifts, talents and education to benefit a home and family of my own. Eight of these women provide that answer of other ways I can serve and improve myself while waiting for that Zombie Apocalypse, or, what Mormons like to call The Millennium, when all things will be restored and fulfilled.
Eliza R. Snow
Because she was married as a plural wife to Joseph Smith (at the ripe old age of 38!) there's a hesitancy in the church to acknowledge her married status. Instead, she is praised for her service as Relief Society President, Zion's Poetess, and being everyone's favorite aunt, for she never bore any children.
Mary Fielding Smith
Married to the widower Hyrum Smith, at age 36, also an "old maid" by 19th century standards, she became a widow but not before giving birth to a baby boy who would grow up to be a future prophet.
And now, the eight women who never married but found ways to live productive lives as contributing members of society.
Louisa May Alcott
Susan B. Anthony
Mary Amelia Ingalls
My apologies to all fans of the Little House on the Prairie TV series (1974-1983) but Laura's heroically blind sister never married! After earning her college degree, she lived at home with Ma and Pa until they died then moved in with married younger sister, Carrie. Putting family first was the pioneer way.
Last, but certainly not least, the only woman still alive who is the only conservative, modern, single, never married woman representing us singletons and old maids today. Sheri Dew could do so much more for our cause if she'd just speak up on some of the issues I've been writing about on my blog on which I would love her critique.
Once again, I will pacify myself with doing all I can to be a good surrogate mother and aunt to the children in my small, insignificant life. For me, the greatest joy is holding a little one on my lap and laughing at the antics of those little ones whom Jesus emulated so well in his teachings and in his life.
The following pictures were taken at my brother-in-law's family fourth of July gathering where we ate homemade ice cream, laughed and visited with family and friends and shot off lots of fireworks (of which Charlie got a big kick out of).
Hope everyone had a happy 4th and, for those in Utah, have a great 24th of July as we celebrate the arrival of the Mormon pioneers in the Salt Lake Valley, 167 years ago this month!