Happy St. Paddy's Day

Meet my new nephew, Charles Kay Williams, just over two weeks old today. My thanks to sister Mary for letting me get a photo with him and not freaking out about posting it online.
I had the opportunity to babysit him last week while Mary took Calvin to preschool before heading to a doctor's appointment. He was just so sweet to rock and cuddle and burp while his blue eyes stared in newborn wonder at this strange woman cooing down at him.
I hung out at their house for a good part of the afternoon, spending time with my two favorite nephews.
Forget the dirty looks I'm about to get from all the Betty Friedan's out there, life on planet earth just doesn't get any better than this. If I could have my wish I'd gladly give up living the Virginia Woolf dream-having a room of my own and a modest income a year in order to create and write. I'd rather be mommyblogging and, since it's St. Patrick's Day, married to this guy:

Too bad he's alrady taken!

May the luck of Irish grant the deepest desires of all the single, unmarrieds like me out there.

Next post: celebrating my ten year anniversary as a U2 fan

A Single Valentine

Yes, I'll admit it. I bought myself a box of assorted See's Candies for Valentine's Day. Maybe next year I'll have the courage to go all out and buy a heart-shaped box. Excuse me while I go sharpen that knife to plunge into my chest.
It was an award winning performance. Gliding up to the counter, a demure smile for the friendly salesman, let him think I wasn't just buying for myself. "Yes, I'd like a one-pound assorted box please. Let's start with four toffee-ettes that's mine, I mean, OUR favorite." Me, myself and I "One chocolate almond, peanut, caramel...is that a walnut sqaure? Yes, we likes those." Must have the precious "Thank you, it's been years since we've enjoyed one of your boxes of delicious chocolate." Nasty, selfish, bachelors, we hates them!
Just doing my part to keep our economy afloat. After all, if it weren't for single women like me, forced to buy candy for herself on Valentine's Day, old fashioned confectioners like See's Candies would be out of business.
After all, this is the day to celebrate a holiday dedicated to our true loves and mine happens to be chocolate and nuts- just not the Josh Powell kind!
Now to curl up under my old quilt, watch season three of "The Mentalist" and let myself fall quite comfortably into the arms of Simon Baker while stuffing my face with candy. I'll have a LOTR trilogy marathon next week. Happy Valentine's Day!

The Trials of Sundance

     With 31 days to slog through, January is one of the hardest months for a single adult to endure. The holidays are over, nothing to look forward to. Ring in the blahs!
     But if you're blessed to live in the Salt Lake area (and how glad I am that I moved up here from Southern Utah all those years ago) the month of January gives Utahns like me one thing to look forward to-the Sundance Film Festival! Lauralee Broschinsky, a good friend of mine, and I have made a tradition of attending every year. I am blessed to have a VERY small circle of friends outside my family to socialize with.
     So, in the picture, that's Jon Header, who played Napolean Dynamite in the popular movie. Next to him is the lucky fan who managed to snag a quick picture after seeing, "For Ellen" in which Jon played a minor role to Paul Dano, with whom I also got to exchange a few brief words after the movie. Both actors were very gracious and accomodating to all the fans who wanted pictures and autographs.
     Laura, Whitney and I got lunch and returned to strolling Park City's main drag, killing time before heading for the wait list line for the next movie. So far I've learned if you want meet any famous celebrities, the best place to see anyone famous is to attend a screening of one of their movies. The rest of Sundance experience was filled with lots of laughter and the simple pleasure of enjoying a girls day out.

     We also stopped by the Family History Center where the older missionary couple, with beaming smiles, invited us downstairs to watch a new video about families *warning bells!* Now, don't get me wrong, one thing I love about being a Mormon is the Church's devotion to the importance of traditional family values but this particular video about a traditional nuclear family reminiscing about how much they mean to each other on the eve of oldest daughter's temple wedding was just as overly cheesy and unrealistic as I feared. It felt awkward because it seems nobody is following that life script anymore.
       This became even more evident after we saw the next Sundance movie "Nobody Walks" about a blended family-mom, stepdad, 16 year old daughter-all sleeping around and having sex with everybody without any consequences. Ironic. On one hand we have the voices of the world screaming that divorce, infidelity and sexual harrassment of young girls is perfectly OK. On the other hand we have the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that pretends nobody does these things and that we're all still living in the 1960's when flirting led to dating which led to courtship which led to marriage and children. Then we have three single adult women-like my friends and I-wondering "Where do I fit in?"

In case you're wondering where this segway is going, I propose a few answers:
    
     A few years ago I read this book "I Need Thee Every Hour" by David P. Vandagriff. An inspirational read about applying the atonement in everyday life, I won't recommend anyone reading this run out and buy it, it's merely OK, nothing special. But one section of the book on p. 97 did stand out to me as a frustrated single adult and I'd like to share it here.
     In the section titled "Reasons for Our Suffering" Vandagriff quotes (the late) LDS apostle Neal A. Maxwell, who classified different types of trials. Since I'm just as analytical and logical as Elder Maxwell (our own Mr. Spock of the gospel if I may be so bold to call him) this really stood out to me as a new concept and since I like nice, organized lists explaining things here's Elder Maxwell's list for the three classes of trials everyone on this earth must go through at some time or other and, most importantly, the WHY of these trials:

     Class One Trials: The mistakes we make that result in unhappy consequences. Read the paper, watch the news, go to the movies, these are the trials being glorified yet, I believe are also responsible for many of the ills of society: murderers, rapists, addicts who whine about being punished, those who chose to live beyond their means, the people who made a wrong choice, the deadbeat dad who suddenly wants custody of the kids, the immigrants who came to this country illegally, the gay and lesbian communities who whine about the right to maintain a certain lifestyle. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone, sooner or later, must pay the penalty for their error be it short-term foolishness, or, growing more common, severe enough to turn this mortal life into a nightmare yet-deep down those who suffer from Class One Trials know they have no one to blame but themselves.

     Class Two Trials: These are the "Act of God" trials, the bad things that can happen to good people trials, over which we have absolutely no control: illness, physical handicaps, old age, cancer, famine, flood, fire, drought. For members of The Chruch of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, these trials are easy to accept and understand because we've been taught how to deal with them and there's usually a network of support, help and aid that arrives when such disasters occur.

    Class Three Trials: These are the hardest. These are the ones that are JUST NOT FAIR: good, faithful, chaste women-their lives filled with service and faith-never have the opportunity to marry, (GEE, THAT RINGS FAMILIAR) the nuclear family man who, like Job in the Bible, suddenly loses everything-career, house, wife and/or children for no apparent reason, the missionary or military man who catches a stray bullet while serving in the field now confined to wheelchair for the rest of his life, the victims of divorce, pornography, rape, abuse and torture who struggle to pick up the pieces of their lives and move on. In short, these are the trials brought about by the choices of others! These are trials which can also bring unnecessary suffering as the victim wonders what he/she did wrong, or must repent of in order to be free from this pain.

     That's what I'll end on today, what I must try to keep in mind and if anyone reading this is also suffering I hope this helps. Class Three Trials really struck a chord with me. I must stop this mental self-flailing with the cords as I spiral downward into self-pity while the words of well meaning friends and family members echo in my head-the blame the victim game, like Job's wife and friends played with him-you brought this on yourself, you better repent, conform, assimilate. Thus I miss the important lesson the Lord is trying to teach me.

     Repentance is also important. Vandagriff is not providing excuses for those suffering from Class One or Two Trials the same message is given over every pulpit on Sundays and at every General Conference-if you made a mistake, you CAN change and repent.

     What I wish the good brethern and leaders of the church would focus MORE on is how innocent folks like you and me, who have very little support network, can best endure these Class Three Trials. Exactly WHAT lesson is the Lord trying to teach me here? Give me something to look forward to, nix these 30-plus LDS singles ward and activities, quit telling me the only way to experience dating is look for it online, and come up with something better to encourage real life dating, courship and marriage among young and older singles in the church.

     Perhaps we should start a petition? I welcome ideas. Have a great day and I'll try to post more often...if anyone even cares.

 

Merry Christmas to Singles Everywhere

Time for the annual flogging. The reminder that if you aren't married or with someone for the holidays you will be miserable. I say, time to set things straight.

     Think Santa will be impressed enough with my dancing to send me a man for Christmas? Here's hoping!
    
      Well, my little apartment is all cozy and decorated for Christmas. Tomorrow I'm going over to bake up a storm with my Mom and sister Mary-fudge, cookies, bread, the works, yum! I find keeping busy and treating myself to a few fun outings to celebrate the season, like going downtown to see the Christmas with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performance keeps my spirits up. Other years I take myself to Ballet West's Nutcracker. I'll do that next year. Serving others in my family is also a good Christmas activity to help stay busy and keep my mind off being lonely during the holiday. Like today...

      Today was my nephew's 5th birthday. I stopped by to drop off his gift and read him a few stories before hearing his prayers and helping Mary and Aaron tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight. I may not be a mother but I sure am grateful to be allowed to participate when I can. Calvin hugged me so tight it took some prodding to get him to let go and put him to bed. I like being someone's favorite aunt. What more do I need to have a Merry Christmas?
So, go find something fun to do, even if you have to go alone. Go find someone to serve, take cookies. Or, if you're like me and getting really desperate, go find a Santa to dance with.
Merry Christmas and God bless us (singles), every one!

Marriage is not the Reward for Righteousness

We (I) have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, (but mostly women) as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion (D&C 121:39).

            I’m not sure about other single females, but over the years I’ve noticed that in my family, and in many church talks and lessons I’ve endured on dating and temple marriage, the majority of those advice givers-pushing me to get married, find a boyfriend, spend more time on my physical appearance-all came from women.

When was the last time a guy came up and waved his wedding ring in your face? Or your best guy friend took you aside and told you he’d love to take you out on a date sometime-if you’d just update your makeup case. How often in a group of unmarried co-eds do the young men tap each other on the shoulder and say, “Um, excuse me, but, back off…SHE’S MINE!”

            There seems to be a prevailing attitude among female Mormons that if you live righteously-go to church, read your scriptures, say your prayers, pay your tithing-yet remain stuck in single mode, the Lord must be punishing you. If you don’t have ten guys chasing you, something’s wrong. So, you get pushed aside, labeled “Old Maid” and denied acceptance into the club until you conform and lose your virginity or at least find someone to take you to the temple.

            The world, on the other hand, is only waiting for you to cross that sex line. Give in to the pressure, lose your virginity, and be like everyone else. Only then will you find acceptance. Only then will you be happy. Sorry, temple marriage not included.

This is called a catch-22 and it is a lie women are putting pressure on each other to follow. I’m not just talking about Mormons, there’s pressure from all sides, especially for girls and young women that if they don’t follow the life script of the world and have a boyfriend by a certain age, they will be labeled “loser” for the rest of her life and I can’t help but notice the majority of those doing the labeling are women.

            Boys kill each other. Girls make you wish you were dead.

            Ladies, if this is you, this really needs to stop. When Satan managed to turn the world’s greatest crusaders for peace, virtue, and moral standards, against each other in such vindictive behavior-we are letting him win. We are judging each other by the world’s false standard of what it means to be a liberated woman as we put so much pressure on each other to either get yourself a partner (or to the temple) or die trying. This is not righteous living. We should be more concerned with our character and how we treat each other. The children both living and not yet born are counting on us to set a good example. Let the men kill each other. We can’t let it happen. Let us return to the sweetness of femininity. We can’t let Satan win!

            In “The Uses of Adversity” by Carlfred Broderick he tells of going to a Young Women’s activity back in the 80’s where a take-off on The Wizard of Oz was presented by “Barbie-with-a-testimony” leaders who stressed temple marriage as the quintessential end to following a yellow brick road-type life script.

             After the presentation, President Broderick gently corrected them, “I do not want you to believe for one minute that if you keep all the commandments and live as close to the Lord as you can and do everything right and fight off the entire priests quorum one by one and wait chastely for your missionary to return…and have a temple marriage, I do not want you to believe that bad things will not happen to you."

 When things don’t go our way, when we discover marriage is not all it’s cracked up to be. In the end, it’s more than just having a current temple recommend, it’s the Savior’s atonement that will ultimately get us into the Celestial Kingdom.

           

It really worries me, the condescending treatment us singles get, just because we don’t have partners. We’re treated as lepers, yet, we don’t view ourselves that way. We know in our hearts there is more to life than having a boyfriend. We say in our hearts: Haven’t I paid my dues, served others without complaint, pray morning and night, keep the commandments? Why, then, am I not married? Why am I living alone in this too-small house? Must I endure another Thanksgiving stuck at the kids table? Where is the reward for my righteousness?  

How frustrating it is when righteous living doesn’t yield the same rewards those I view around me in their happily married state of bliss appear to be enjoying. Yet, it is times like these, thinking I’m the only one who feels this way, as I find myself sinking into a downward melancholy spiral of despair, that’s when I remember a favorite quote I heard once in a talk by Elder Faust:

When fretted by this single life, which seems to be my lot. I think of all the many men whose wife I’m glad I’m not.

Thank goodness God does not judge us on our marital status. In the end, how we treated each other during our lives on this earth is all that matters. Thank goodness those stuck in a degrading or abusive marriage can find comfort knowing Joseph Smith once said those men who don’t honor and cherish their wives in this life will not be privileged to have them in the next.

Married or not. Divorced or single. If our hearts are pure, we as oldmaidmormons-and I include anyone else out there who yearns for marriage and can’t seem to find it-can all take comfort in one of my favorite scriptures from Isaiah on what to do when feeling down and lonely because we are not yet married and filling the measure of our creation.

Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, thou that didst not travial with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord. (Isaiah 54:1).

So, to all my single sisters, get out there and even if you’re not much of a singer, have a song in your heart as you count your blessings, smile bravely through the abuse of those well-meaning relatives this holiday season who will inevitably ask: “My goodness, aren’t you married yet?” and remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. We CAN live righteous lives and, with the help of our Savior, be welcomed into the Kingdom of the Blissfully Married-even if we don’t have that ring yet.

The Single Ones

Sing it with me, “One is the loneliest number”

Three Dog Night had it right. Being A Single One is lonely, it’s sad, it’s hard, it sucks and as the lyrics go, “It’s just no good anymore since she went away,” many readers of this blog are probably thinking, “It’s just no good anymore since HE NEVER SHOWED UP,”

Today’s date (11/11/11) makes this a good day to celebrate singles, emphasize how being single is not our fault and to offer some hope for a bright future for all The Single Ones out there. I’ll try to include single men in this post but I think we all know what single men are doing right now. This is for all the single people…forget it, I’ve never cared for that America song either.

            I’ve been doing my homework over the last few weeks. I spent hours surfing the web and reading books about the changing attitudes towards marriage and dating in America and how it relates to us singles. I found blogs where hooking up, cohabitation or what to do after the divorce are common themes-little too much chutzpah for me. I found Mormon blogs celebrating the zaniness of single life, navigating the “meat market” while waiting for a priesthood holder to come sweep you off your feet while the rest were all ads for online dating for both Mormons and Non, of which I’ve never been a fan. If it works for you, meeting new people online, good for you-you have my utmost admiration. Trying online dating once was enough for me.

As for the books, it was an eye-opener to find so much self-destructive behavior out there in the world of quick hook ups, rampant cohabitation, pornography and oral sex. Here’s my booklist.

1.    Your Kids at Risk: How Teen Sex is Killing our Sons and Daughters. Meeker, Margaret J.

2.    So Sexy so Soon.  Levin, Diane E.

3.    Queen Bees and Wannabes. Wiseman, Rosalind.

4.    The Beauty Myth. Wolf, Naomi.

5.    Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think about Marrying. Regerus, Mark.

6.    Glory Goes and Gets Some. Carter, Emily.

7.    A Room of One’s Own. Woolf, Virginia

8.    Marriage and Caste in America. Hymowitz, Kay.

Yes, I know that’s a LOT of books and, yes, I really did read them all because reading is one of my favorite hobbies. I really enjoyed researching what I was going to write for this post and being single means being blessed with LOTS of free time. As the titles concur, the focus is mostly on women but I’m assuming most of my readers are women anyway. Don’t feel any pressure to read all eight, if any titles listed above inspire you to go pick up a book, wonderful, my work as closet librarian is done. Closet Librarians: We read so you don’t have to! (there’s a blog for that btw- http://closetlibrarian.blogspot.com/)

The main topic of today’s post is life scripts. In “The Single Mormon Girl’s Guide to Life” Lula from London blogs about life scripts in a 2007 post, “A Date is a Commitment”. Lula calls it the “Beehive Plan” and to any girl who grew up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints it should look familiar:

16 > date > college > date > mission > career > date > temple marriage > kids

Then there’s the “Life Script of the Lone and Dreary World” or the world in which we are all living in right now.  According to my research, there’s really no set life script that young single adults and teens of the world are following today. Once upon a time, motherhood was what you groomed and prepared your daughter for. Being a responsible husband and provider was the life script all young men used to follow. Today, a life script “just happens” and it looks something like this:

16 > oral sex > college > date > cohabitation > job > kids > marriage-if-you-get-lucky

Now, I’m not saying everyone follows these life scripts or that everyone should. Dr. Phil calls life scripts constrictive for those who try to follow them and depressing for those when certain life events don’t happen “according to the script” and they feel like failures.

Wise religious leaders of all faiths promote a life script that steers clear of self-destructive behaviors such as pornography and laziness, remaining pure and chaste while getting all the education we can. The leaders of the Mormon faith promote these same goals, promising us that even when certain life events, such as temple marriage, don’t happen “according to the script” we can rest assured temple marriage WILL come. This advice applies to all good Christians trying to live right. Marriage is a worthy goal that all male and female Single Ones should aspire to.

So, what to do in the meantime? The “Beehive Plan” offers no alternative escape route to the endless cycle of dating while waiting for temple marriage and, as you’ve probably noticed, the “Life Script of the World” has no scruples about jumping right into sex before marriage which all good girls understand is to be avoided like pornography, so following that life script is out.

As the years of my single life have passed, after I stopped crying over my failure to make “The Beehive Plan” happen the way I’d always dreamed it would, I’ve had to re-invent myself and re-write my life script-because sometimes life doesn’t always go according to plan.  

In Slavoj Zizek’s, “The Pervert’s Guide to Cinema” he demands “a third pill” and since I’ve had no choice but to remain single I would also like to demand “A THRID LIFE SCRIPT” for all good women to follow when dating, courtship and marriage just isn’t happening because the guys just aren’t asking.

So, here is my “Life Script for The Single Ones” and, yes, it’s geared pretty much for the ladies:

16 > date > college > date > mission > career > new hobbies > buy house > temple marriage-if-you-get-lucky 

 I’m 37 now and ever since “The Beehive Plan” blew up in my face this is pretty much the script I’ve been following and, so far, I have no regrets. I think everyone should adopt this life script, yet, I can hear the protests starting already: “But I don’t want to buy a house and live alone! Only losers with no sex in their lives do that. Don’t you know that a woman is nothing nothing nothing without a man? This life script says growing up to be a 40 year old virgin is better than never having sex or kids and that’s just CRAZY!”

Yes, I know, unless legions of single young men start buying their own homes and living alone, as many of the single ladies are doing, we really have no choice but to follow this life script. We must settle for the unglamorous life of living alone, traveling alone, and pursuing hobbies and activities alone without the companionship of a boyfriend. Yes, the thought of such a life is discouraging, if not downright sickening, but I promise it’s not as bad as you think.

So, before you decide to settle for “Joe Six-pack” and his failure to commit; before you give in to the degrading demands of oral sex, just stop for a minute and consider the benefits of following my “Life Script for the Single Ones”. To begin with, you’ll never have to worry about STDs and single parenthood. If we wait for the young men to initiate the dating and not give into the pressures of having oral sex, we can raise the value of the woman in the sexual marketplace. Maybe if we start drawing some firm boundaries-demanding a ring from the men before we give them sex-the men will realize they have no choice but to re-write their own life scripts!

So, yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying- it IS possible to live a happy and fulfilling life without sex or at least to live a happy and fulfilling life before you meet a man who respects you and the children you plan to bring into this world together to initiate the creation of a family.

Please don’t think I’m diminishing the role of women either. As the Mom in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” said, “The man is the head but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she wants.” Women still have that power and we need to be reminding each other to use it. We should be encouraging each other to live chaste and moral lives, not tearing each other down in jealousy and competition over the nearest alpha male. Let’s face it; the sex ratio proves there just aren’t enough in the marketplace to go around. We need to learn to live with that and I’m confident The Single Ones like us can and are currently doing so right now.
“Oldmaidmormons Rule!” We’ll make it our battle cry.

I’m not preaching that mine is the only life script you have to follow. Invent your own chaste alternatives to this life script. For example, I’m not promoting lesbianism, but there’s nothing wrong with finding other single women who share the same values as you do and, if you both don’t mind sharing a kitchen and living space, going in on a house together sure beats the solitude and loneliness of living alone! I’ll bet you can name quite a few single, never married women right now who’ve taken to living together-sleeping in the same bedroom but not in the same bed-just to have someone to share the single life with. You probably also know many single women who just prefer to live alone and are quite content with this lifestyle.

I’ve done both-sharing a house with another single woman and then moving out again to be on my own. I’m not deliriously happy with my current situation, but I’ll admit it, I’m content most of the time. I have my work, my small group of friends and my family. I look forward to welcoming a new nephew soon. If I keep my dance card filled with fun activities to look forward to, as the upcoming holidays will provide, then I think I’m doing pretty good living a happy and fulfilling life without ever having had sex. Not to mention unlimited use of the TV remote. 

 Ladies, the millennium is coming. I’ll not try and predict an exact number of years but I’m watching the signs and I’m hopeful that we WILL have the opportunity to marry and raise children in that future thousand year period. I’m not just talking to fellow Mormon sisters; this promise is for ALL faithful, chaste, honest virtuous women who desire to be wives and mothers. Yes, I hear you. It sucks to be the oldest living virgin on the planet. It’s hard to forsake the sex and companionship that comes with cohabitation just so you can keep that V-card which may look obsolete now but I’m telling you, HANG ONTO IT and let’s encourage our fellow sisters to do the same. Yes, I know, it’s sickening to not be on the pill and have to put up with that monthly reminder with never a nine month break year after year after year from age 14 to 40. It’s not fair and it makes no sense having to wait but we must have faith that when the millennium comes we can shout for joy that keeping our virginity was indeed worth it.

So, I know it’s a long shot, but let’s call for an end to cohabitation. Let’s stand up against pornography and encourage men to do their share of the work in asking us out while holding fast to our moral boundaries. If they want the sex let’s demand they show us that ring first. If they want to just hang out, let’s demand they ask us out on individual dates and forget the oral sex. If we do this, I predict these demands will prove just too hard for men to resist. They'll cave in and start dating, courting and marrying us in the biggest turn-around the world has ever seen.

For the rest of us, I envision a legion of Single Ones, desiring marriage to good men we just can’t seem to find, being the first group to approach the Savoir at his Second Coming when He arrives to usher in the millennium. When that day comes, I envision thousands upon thousands of virtuous women cresting the horizon. We will approach and kneel at His feet and humbly remind Him of his promise in Matthew, “The first shall be last and the last (that’s all of us who’ve had to wait so long!) shall be first,” and together we will partake of all the rich blessings we have been so long denied.

That’s it. Have a great day. Now get out there and celebrate being a Single One, no longer the loneliest number but a woman worth waiting for whose price is far greater than rubies. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find some Midol.  

The Single Mormon Girl's Guide to Life

   Seems I'm not alone out there in the blogosphere. I started reading the older posts on this site today, the first one dating all the way back to November 2007. This really needs to be a book because I just couldn't stop reading. A gold mine of ideas about being single that I intend to steal and use here in my own blog. Miss Jones, who posts on this blog, must've gotten married because she hasn't posted anything new since December of last year. Perhaps it's time for someone new to take up the baton...
   Anyway go check it out here's the link http://singlemormongirl.wordpress.com/2008/01/
Sorry, gotta run now. I'm gonna do more research for my next post and I have an English midterm I really need to be studying for right now and my creative writing piece needs to be ready to post by next week for that class and I haven't seen my favorite nephew since my birthday. 
   Life is pretty good right now. I just finished reading "Bad Guys of the Book of Mormon" and yes, it's just as fun to read as it sounds, everyone should go pick it up.
   I started praying again, I'd kinda given it up since being alone is so discouraging but every once in a awhile I can think of a good reason to kneel down, give the Lord an update on my life and acknowledge His hand in all things. I've started attending Sunday worship service again but only because there's lots of little toddlers in my family ward who like to wander over to the pew I share with my sister and her family. I cuddle them on my lap (Calvin's getting too big!), let them dig through my purse, draw pictures for them on the program, look at story books and play cat's cradle with the older kids. Occasionally we might glance up to hear what the speaker is saying! I really like my family ward.
   So, advice for the day: keep busy, pray always and read your scriptures, that's the only way to beat loneliness.